Follow up

If you missed my post last week, I was blogging about praying to get closer to God. Trying to get past that sense of great distance between us, and trying to understand so many questions in my mind about him. I have since continued to pray that prayer and in some down time have been reading up on some of my questions. One of the questions that I have always had was why God would allow miscarriages or abortions to take place? Why would he even allow the pregnancy to occurr in the first place. While researching the subject it really enlightened me and hit home with my own personal experience. A couple years before my wife and I had my first child(Jadyn) we had gone through a miscarriage of our own. At the time my wife was pretty upset about the situation. We tried to comfort in the fact that God was in control of our lives and it wasn't meant to be. I for one really did believe that, but part fo me was also kind of relieved at the time. I was scared to be a parent and wasn't sure I was ready for such a life changing event. I secretly wondered if that had something to do with Gods decision to take our baby. I have thought over time what it would have been like to have had our first child back then. What would he or she have been like, would we still have had both Jadyn and Luke, how different would our lives be? I never really thought about if we would reunite in heaven some day. Jeremiah 1:5 states "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you. Before you were born I set you apart, I appointed you as a prophet to the nations". Psalms 139:13-16 states For you created my inmost being, you knit me together in my mothers womb....All the days ordained for me were written in your book before any of them came to be. If god does decide how many marbles we have(as Mark Beeson puts it) than he must have a reason beyond our understanding of why he brings these babies home so early. I pray that all of the parents will take comfort in the fact that God is with our children and they never had to feel fear or pain in this world and are enjoying the kingdom with the perfect father. I also pray that when the time comes and I am called upon that I will know my child in heaven. I read somewhere that we will basically be ageless in heaven, but also that we will be recognizable. Do you think we will just know our child? Will he/she still be a baby? These questions are all so intriguing to me. Whatever God puts us through it is to bring glory to him and to bring us closer to him. I believe that although I still have so many questions, I am definitely closer to God because of them.